Okay friends, please fill in the blank: “I can’t because…”
Now please look at your “because” and (be truthful) ask yourself if it’s a reason, or an excuse.
Hint: If you have stopped looking for an alternative to it, it is no longer a “reason.” It has become an excuse.
This morning I had an interesting bit of inner dialogue happen, and I’m feeling called to share it with you all. Maybe you’ll find something in it that you can use. This was a “conversation” between the me that is afraid of change (yes, even positive-feeling change) and the me that feels empowered and really ready for some things to change for the better. Here’s how it went:
FM (Fearful Me): I can’t because… [and the list of “reasons” followed]
EM (Empowered Me): Bullshit. Why don’t you just cut to the chase, own your own stuff, and say, “I’m choosing not to because…”?
FM: [Lots of defending, justifying, complaining, and pleading my “I’m a powerless victim” case.
EM: Knock it off. You are no victim. There is not ONE THING going on in your life that you couldn’t do differently if you chose to. [This is with regard to attitude and perception. Nothing can change on the outside as long as the inner work is ignored or avoided. Outer change is ALWAYS an inside job. It can’t happen any other way.]
EM: How much do you want the positive change that you claim you want? Why don’t you start by being truthful with your own dang self?! Rather than saying, “I can’t because…,” be honest and say, “I am deliberately choosing not to, because I am afraid of what will happen – of who I will have to become – if this works out well for me.” This can ONLY end your pattern of self-sabotage – which is all the “I can’t because” attitude is, isn’t it? When you take ownership and make it a deliberate choice to either move in the direction of what you say you want or stay where you are right now (without justifying or defending your choice. Just letting it be what it is.), you remove all of the power from your BELIEF that your “I can’t because” is valid… And you place that power right where it belongs – fully, deeply, within your own heart, hands, and ability to create whatever you choose to create in your life.
I’m just going to leave it right there and let you decide what you will do with it. I’m just being the messenger here. You get to choose how – or even if – you receive it.
For myself, and anyone who cares to join me in this:
Today I choose to be authentic, and to make my choices from the inside… from the deepest part of me that knows the full truth that lives at the root of each individual choice. I choose to fully and completely own each choice that I make, whether that choice seems to serve me or not, because I know that if I’m standing fully in it I can make a choice to change it at its core. Or I can let it be what it is until the time comes that I DO feel ready to change it. And when that time comes, I know I’ll be able to do it the right way… the Empowered Way.
Love to all of you from Brighton, Colorado.