Thursday, May 15, 2014

Choosing the "Empowered Way"

I just came across the following message, which went out in my "newsletter" last year when I was in a place that really felt - for lack of a better word, and for the sake of accurate authenticity - like shit.

Now here I am eight months later and on the other side of that experience. As I read through the message below I am able to see - with great clarity - the absolute Truth that lives in this particular message. I am now living the proof that the practice described below really does work. If you missed it then, here it is now. Enjoy.

            Okay friends, please fill in the blank: “I can’t because…”
            Thank you.
            Now please look at your “because” and (be truthful) ask yourself if it’s a reason, or an excuse.
            Hint: If you have stopped looking for an alternative to it, it is no longer a “reason.” It has become an excuse.
            This morning I had an interesting bit of inner dialogue happen, and I’m feeling called to share it with you all. Maybe you’ll find something in it that you can use. This was a “conversation” between the me that is afraid of change (yes, even positive-feeling change) and the me that feels empowered and really ready for some things to change for the better. Here’s how it went:
            FM (Fearful Me): I can’t because… [and the list of “reasons” followed]
            EM (Empowered Me): Bullshit. Why don’t you just cut to the chase, own your own stuff, and say, “I’m choosing not to because…”?
            FM: [Lots of defending, justifying, complaining, and pleading my “I’m a powerless victim” case.
            EM: Knock it off. You are no victim. There is not ONE THING going on in your life that you couldn’t do differently if you chose to. [This is with regard to attitude and perception. Nothing can change on the outside as long as the inner work is ignored or avoided. Outer change is ALWAYS an inside job. It can’t happen any other way.]
            FM: But…!!
            EM: How much do you want the positive change that you claim you want? Why don’t you start by being truthful with your own dang self?! Rather than saying, “I can’t because…,” be honest and say, “I am deliberately choosing not to, because I am afraid of what will happen – of who I will have to become – if this works out well for me.” This can ONLY end your pattern of self-sabotage – which is all the “I can’t because” attitude is, isn’t it? When you take ownership and make it a deliberate choice to either move in the direction of what you say you want or stay where you are right now (without justifying or defending your choice. Just letting it be what it is.), you remove all of the power from your BELIEF that your “I can’t because” is valid… And you place that power right where it belongs – fully, deeply, within your own heart, hands, and ability to create whatever you choose to create in your life.
            I’m just going to leave it right there and let you decide what you will do with it. I’m just being the messenger here. You get to choose how – or even if – you receive it.
            For myself, and anyone who cares to join me in this:
            Today I choose to be authentic, and to make my choices from the inside… from the deepest part of me that knows the full truth that lives at the root of each individual choice. I choose to fully and completely own each choice that I make, whether that choice seems to serve me or not, because I know that if I’m standing fully in it I can make a choice to change it at its core. Or I can let it be what it is until the time comes that I DO feel ready to change it. And when that time comes, I know I’ll be able to do it the right way… the Empowered Way.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

PEACE is "My Thing"

Sitting here at my computer, just contemplating... asking myself what is THE most important thing to me, and recognizing that there's a reason that an experience I had fifteen years ago has cropped up in my memories and in conversation more than once over the last several days.

Fifteen years ago, in 1999, I was still in my last abusive relationship. I was VERY unhappy, and I can remember thinking over and over that all I wanted was peace. I just wanted peace. I wanted just one moment of not having to be on guard... just a moment of not being afraid of the fist that could come out of nowhere at any time and punch me in the side of the head.

I had gone beyond wishing for love. At that time I was just barely coming to understand that he was in so much emotional pain - that he had always been in emotional agony - that he was not capable of being truly loving. And me? I did not know how to BE loved.

So I decided to look for something deeper than that. Something that would serve as a foundation for a happier and more loving life, which I wanted to believe could be possible for me.

What I was looking for was peace. You know, real peace. "The Peace that passeth all understanding." (Although, at the time I had no idea that THAT was the peace I was looking for. All I knew at the time was that I was tired of living in constant, acute fear.)

In September of that year I was introduced to an idea that was very new to me. The idea of personal responsibility. The idea that there was nothing "outside of me" that was - or ever could be - responsible for my own personal peace. I was introduced to the idea that my own peace begins with me, and a quote from A Course In Miracles that says, "I can choose peace instead of this."

That was the beginning of an amazing journey for me. A journey that has brought me to this place, right here. My whole life changed, simply because I decided to apply that one idea as I lived each moment. I began living FROM the idea that I really CAN choose to feel peace, no matter what is going on "outside" of me.

Looking back from here I can see that every time I chose to feel peaceful no matter what was going on with him, OR inside my own thoughts, I was aligning my own personal energy with that of Divine Peace. And as I did that consistently, my whole life changed around me... because I, myself, changed within my own life.


As I was sitting here and asking what was the most important thing to me, and "Peace" was the answer that kept showing up, I was being a bit hard on myself about it. Because, well, shouldn't "Love" be the answer to that question? Hmmmm.... Nope. The answer was clearly, "Peace."

PEACE is "my thing." PEACE is the most important thing to me. PEACE is the foundation on which I choose to stand, because from that place of personal alignment with the Divine, I can deliberately see the Divine in others, no matter what they are doing... no matter who they are being in the moment. And there is NOTHING more loving than that.