I Choose… My DESIRED Content
So imagine that there is a “Book of
Your Life,” and that it stands open in front of you right now. All of the pages
on the left are full, with each individual page representing a day of your
life. Each page tells of who you were being in each moment. What your behavior
was. How you treated each person you came into contact with. How you treated
yourself. Your thoughts about others. Your thoughts about your life. Your
thoughts about yourself. Any and all attitudes and actions that you took,
whether they moved you in the direction of your ultimate Life in this human
experience, or whether a different direction was taken. Every bit of it was
recorded, one page for each day since the moment of your birth into this Life.
The page on the right is only partially
filled, and it tells of who you have been today,
up until this very moment…
This morning begins page 18,645 in my
own personal Book of Life. There are only a couple of sentences written on it
so far. My question to myself is, at the END of today, when I lay my head down
on my pillow, what do I want the content of this page to be? Do I want it to
say pretty much what the last thousand pages say? Or do I want it to tell of
goals achieved and new ones set? Do I want it to tell an angry tale of
frustration and self-pity and disappointment and dissatisfaction? Of low
self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, and the self-sabotaging choices that are
always an inevitable result of feeling that way about myself? Or do I want it
to tell a joyful story of love and adventure and confidence in my own abilities
and worth? Do I want it to tell a story of bitterness, hatred and revenge? Of
courage and strength? Of judgment and criticism? Did I listen deeply to myself
and others today, and respond from my heart? Or did I live in distraction, not
present, oblivious to the really important stuff? What if, at
the end of this day, this page is filled with a story that includes gratitude
and compassion and forgiveness and being truly present in each moment? What if
it contains a sincere and heartfelt acknowledgment of the value of truly deep connection with others? What if it tells of
expansion, accomplishment, and realized Dreams?
I get to choose what is written on this
page. And I also get to remember that once today's page is written I can't go
back and make it say anything other than what it says. And whatever it says
will be the truth of who I BE'd today, because the choices that I make are always—NO
EXCEPTIONS—an infallibly accurate representation of WHO I AM BEING in the
moment that I make them.
Hmmm... It's time for this book to
start being meaningful, rather than saying basically the same thing on every
page. Who wants to read a book that says the same thing on almost every page?
Today really is number 18,645 for me.
When I sat down and actually did the math, it struck me just how much of my life
is lived by default. And it is lived by default for the simple reason that it's
comfortable to live a "same s**t
different day" kind of life, even if that life doesn’t feel very good.
"Same s**t different day" is
a choice. And it's one that I am done making.
I Choose… My DESIRED Content
This week I am very aware that “the
page” is neutral. It doesn’t care one way or the other what gets written on it.
I choose to remember that each page holds an accurate accounting of who I am
BEing… right now, and right now, and right here, and right now. Am I being the
person who is living a life of love and expansion and willingness to grow?
WHATEVER gets written down in the Book of My Life is completely up to me. It’s
about who I BE in each moment. It is NOT about other people or circumstances
that I would like to blame for my
behavior or my attitudes. No. It is documenting my responses to those
things and people. My question to myself this week is this: When I come back
and check out what I was doing and who I was being on THIS day, am I going to
like what I see written here?
It tickles me to
think of looking back at this page from two or three years down the road, when
I am fully living my Dream, and saying, "Ahhhhh... THAT is who I was that
day, and THOSE are the thoughts I held in mind and the attitudes and actions
that I took that contributed to getting me here, to THIS life that I love so
much!"
Imagining this for
myself makes distraction, procrastination, blaming things outside myself for my
results, and the excuses that "I can't because..." not only a
non-issue, but not even an available option. I get to choose how I live this
day, and as I do, the page will be "written" accordingly. And
tomorrow, today will be a piece of my history that I will never be able to live
again. I intend to look back on it and be able to say, "Good job! Nicely
done!"
As always, I
encourage you to place yourself in the “I” position when reading this. What do
you want today’s page to say about YOU in YOUR Book of Life? And if you don’t
like what your previous pages say about who you’ve been in the past (up to and
including five minutes ago), I REALLY encourage you to say, “No. That’s who
I’ve been up until now. Now I make a different choice.” And then let your
history BE your history. Because that is all it is. It is never too late to
start creating the life you want, and it is never too late to start BEing the
person you would like to become, no matter where you are or what you happen to
be living right now.
Here’s to all of us “writing” truly awesome books!
Books that show us to be people who are awake to the fact that we are always
deciding who we want to be in our world, no matter what our
circumstances appear to be. Books that tell of love, and adventure, and
compassion, and gratitude, and forgiveness. Books that show that we are people
who can let go of littleness in favor of the bigger, more expansive life that
is always calling us to live “at the green and growing edges of our own
becoming.”
Have fun, my friends!
Love
Sandi
Have an awesome day if you choose to!
Sandi
Have an awesome day if you choose to!
“Speak your Soul into this space.” Em Claire
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