Monday, February 15, 2016

I Choose… My Choice Point

I Choose… My Choice Point

Well, that’s not an entirely accurate title, because every moment is actually a “choice point.” Which means what? It means that every single moment in my life is a point in which I am making choices. So a more accurate title would be, “I Choose to RECOGNIZE each moment of my life as the Choice Point that it is.” But – you know—that is just way too long, so “Choice Point” it is. :-)

Imagine that you are walking the Path of Your Life [you are], and imagine that with every step along that Path it branches off in many, many directions [it does], and imagine that at each and every point along Your Path you are choosing the direction that your next step is going to take you [you are].

If you were to turn around and look behind you, at the route that you took to get yourself to where you are right now, what would you notice about the steps that you took along the way? What would you notice about the pattern—the habits of thought and behavior—that chose so many of your steps for you, without any conscious direction on your part? Does the term “stuck in a rut” ring any bells for you? Or how about “story of my life”? Or even, “Why does this always happen to me?!”

Or have you taken your steps deliberately enough that you can claim your life experience up to now to be an adventure of your own choosing?

The truth is that, whether we want to take responsibility for it or not, every step we’ve taken up to this point HAS been a step that we each chose for ourselves. This week’s I Choose is about becoming more aware and deliberate in the moment, paying attention to the choices we are about to make—before we act on them—and deciding if the consequences of taking THAT step are going to be worth it to us.

Most of you have been with me for a while, so you know that a pivotal point on my own Path was the day in 1999 that I heard the quote, “If you continue down the road you’re on, you’re going to end up where you’re headed,” followed by, “Just a little shift in direction and a mile down the road… you’re in a whole new place.” (Thanks go out to my friend, Shawn Paul, for bringing this up the other day.)

That idea is what this article is about. Where we each stand on our own personal “road” or “path” is our current Choice Point. We can make the same choices that we’ve always made, which will continue to take us to where we’re currently headed… OR—from right where we are [because there IS NO OTHER POSSIBLE PLACE OR TIME TO DO IT]—we can shift our own direction. And each of us, in our own individual life experience, is the only one who can shift our own individual life experience if we’d like it to change. And how do we do it? We pay attention, in the moment, to the choice we are about to make, and we DECIDE whether or not we want to end up where that step is going to take us.

This is true in every area of life, whether it’s our relationships, our finances, our job or school, how we treat ourselves and others, whether we are authentic or phony in our interactions with others, whether we blame others for our troubles or not, whether we consistently choose the “easiest” way to get what we think we want even though we know it’s not the healthiest way to go about it [and which always turns out to make our lives more difficult, rather than easier], etc.

I Choose… Recognizing THIS Choice Point

This week I choose to notice every choice that I am about to make, before I act upon them. I pay attention, at this Point right here and right now, to what I am about to say or do, I think about what the consequences will be, and I decide if it is worth it to me to live with those consequences. I ask, “Do I want to go where this choice is going to take me?” And if the answer is no, I make a choice that will shift my direction.

Each moment is a Choice Point. Each moment is a point in your life that determines the direction that your life is about to go. And you are the one who makes that determination.

Are you about to break a promise that you’ve made to yourself or someone else? This Point in your life is the place to decide whether or not that bit of self-sabotage is worth it to you.

Are you about to say something hurtful to someone you care about? This Point in your life is the place to decide whether or not the damage to your relationship with them is worth it to you.

Are you about to light up that cigarette, eat that cookie, have that drink, or feed some other addiction? This Point in your life is the place to decide whether or not the damage to your health, your weight, and the quality of your life is worth it to you.

Are you about to sit down in front of the TV or go to the mall instead of taking action on your Dream? This Point in your life is the place to decide whether or not sacrificing your Dream to watch “Reality TV” or purchasing something that you don’t really need is worth it to you.

Something “happens” in your life. Are you going to react, like a button that has just been waiting to be pushed? Or are you going to respond, like a person who knows they have the ability to manage their own mind? This Point in your life is the place to decide if it’s worth it to you to allow your “buttons” to run (and maybe even ruin) your life.

And, just because it’s Valentine’s Day, I’ll ask you this: From this Point right here, are you willing to love your own self enough to make this Choice deliberately, for the good of your own life? You are the only one who can.

“This Point in your life” is always the ONLY Point in your life that it can ever be possible for you to shift your direction. THIS Point, is your ONLY Choice Point. Ever. If you look down the Path that is before you, and you see that you don’t like where it’s going to take you, I really encourage you to recognize this Choice Point for what it really is: The most powerful place in the world for you to be standing. From this Point right here, the possible “shifts in direction” are limitless. And you get to choose the direction that you would like to go.

Why not make it a Grand Adventure? Why not shift your choices from this Point, for the purpose of shifting the consequences that you will come upon a bit further along on your Path?

YOU are the only one who can.


Have an awesome day if you choose to!

Rev. Sandra Daly
“Speak your Soul into this space.” Em Claire 

Since I know that nothing can happen if I am too chicken to let people know that I'm asking for help, I'm letting go of my fear of asking, and I'm making a bold move. The GoFundMe campaign can be found right here, and I thank you for ANY support that you feel inspired to give. This is SO important!

As you probably know, I used to live a 100% "victim" life. Why? Because I grew up believing that was "normal" and that it was the way my life was meant to be.

In August of 1999 - after 34 years of living a life of physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, and spiritual abuse - I began the process of changing that belief and that way of life, and that process began with one simple thought.

"There's gotta be a better way for me to live than this."

I had never in my life even entertained the POSSIBILITY that there could be a different way of life for me, and when that thought showed up that August day I had no idea what to do with it. I did not believe it was possible for me to have a different life, because I could only see my entire life up to that point as proof that it was NOT possible.

But I stayed with that brand new baby thought, and I followed its lead. And my life changed.

Ten months later I made a SPECTACULAR leap of faith, and I left my domestic violence life behind me forever, and I have written three books about different aspects of that experience ("Choose Your Universe," "Pop Your Paradigm," and "Successfully MidAir").

But without those ten months of INNER work, leading up to that leap of faith, that "spectacular" experience would have ended not in a brand new, different kind of life, but with a re-creation of the old one, because I would have taken that leap within the patterns of belief that I had always lived.

I have recently come to recognize that the sharing of this "There's gotta be a better way..." part of my story will be incredibly valuable to those who are still "in it," and who are thinking some version of that thought for themselves but have no idea what to do next. I absolutely believe that my own experience was a part of my Purpose in life, so that - from here - I could create this program and share it with those who are currently existing in that type of experience.

That is what this GoFundMe request is for. I am currently working on this book/program that is meant to help those people who are currently living that kind of life, and who are ready to start entertaining some version of the thought that "there's gotta be a better way." (And SO MANY of them are! They just don't know what to do with it, so they sit either in complete disbelief, or in wishful thinking, neither of which will do anything to create any sort of healthy change for them.)

Leaving is not an EVENT. It's a PROCESS. My own experience taught me that. This book/program will provide:

1.  A clear, simple, easy-to-understand description of why "just leaving" doesn't work
2.  An understanding of how choosing to trust the "there's gotta be a better way" idea can successfully change a victim's life
3.  Several real and specific tools that can be applied within the life that is begging to be changed, for the purpose of really creating permanent change

This will be a book/program that is meant to be provided to men and women in shelters AND those who are still in relationship with their abusers and are looking for a way to live that experience differently, in a way that will have them feeling empowered within their experience, rather than stuck in it with nowhere to go.

I am asking for help in raising $20,000 to fund this project. Why? Because I feel - urgently - that NOW is the time for me to do this, and it is a program that is so worthy of funding because it is so desperately needed in our communities!

I turned 51 on Wednesday January 13, 2016. My mom - who lived and died as a victim - died when she was 51. And she died without ever finding out that there was another way she could have done her life.

I am living this year in her honor, and this project is dedicated to her memory. She tried SO HARD to change her life, but none of the things she did made a difference. And then she died. I did not change my own life until after she was gone, so she never got to see me happy or emotionally healthy.

This project is being created in her honor, and in honor of ALL of those men, women, and children who have died as a result of domestic abuse.

In honor of those who are gone, but FOR those who do NOT have to live and die that way!

This is YOUR opportunity to make a diffence. Help me to help them. Please.

The funds raised here will go specifically toward the creation of this Heart Work, and I will be happy to account for where every penny goes, to anyone who asks for that accounting. I am so serious about this. It is my Purpose, and it is my Divine Calling, and I SO appreciate any and all assistance in helping me to bring it into reality!

Thank you so much!


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