Sunday, March 20, 2016

I Choose... Love

I Choose… Love

Good morning and happy Sunday to you!

Did you know that there are really only two emotions? One of them is Love. The other is NOT hate, as most people think it is the opposite of Love. No.

The other one is Fear.

Hatred, anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, prejudice, envy, racism, the need to make others “wrong” so that we can feel like we are “right,” any form of intolerance, blame, judgment, etc.  None of these things is a feeling or a belief in its own right. And every one of them, and all that are included in the “et cetera,” stems from Fear.

I first learned this in 1999 along with a suggestion for what to pay attention to in my own behavior, and a question to ask that always shifts things for me when I find myself acting out of fear. If you have any interest at all in NOT getting sucked into the mob mentality that seems so prevalent in the United States these days (on BOTH sides), this is a practice that will serve you well.

The practice is just this: Notice when you’re looking at another person, a group of people, another country, a circumstance in your own life, or even your own self, with hatred, intolerance, bitterness, blame, judgment, etc.  If you have any interest in being more powerful than your fear—which IS the root of every single one of those feelings whether you want to admit it to yourself or not—the next step in this practice is to ask one simple question.

What would LOVE do?

If I can do this in the midst of a relationship in which I was getting beat up on a regular basis, anyone can do it in whatever circumstance they find themselves in. At that time and in that place in my life, I stopped defending myself when my abuser attacked me (whether physically or verbally), and I applied this practice deliberately. I would ask, “What would Love do here?” And the answer that ALWAYS came first was this, “LOVE would recognize that HE lives a far more fearful life than I do, and that is where this behavior stems from. I do not have to take it personally, because—even though it is directed at me—it is not about me. At all. This expression of hate is nothing more than his fear pouring out of him through his behavior.” This recognition ALWAYS triggered a feeling of compassion in me, and the actions that stemmed from compassion were always far healthier than what would have happened if I had responded to him from my fear of him.

That one realization was always helpful to me, and it was during that time that I began to recognize that I had to love myself enough to choose not to engage with him in his drama dynamic. And this holds true today, and that is what this week’s I Choose addresses.

I Choose… Love

This week I deliberately pay attention to my feelings and my behaviors, and I stay in the question, “What would Love do? How would Love handle THIS person’s behavior? How would Love handle THIS circumstance?” This week I choose to remember that Love is FAR more powerful than fear, and I choose to love myself so much that it is easy for me to either disengage when I find myself sucked into another’s drama, or to not engage with them in the first place. Because only when I’m willing to love myself that much, will I be able to choose to really love THEM.

And just to be clear, “engaging with them” means giving them ANY of my energy or attention from a place of being afraid of them in any way. This includes judging or hating them inside my own mind, and it includes judging or hating them in conversations with others. In our current climate of separation, judgment, hatred, and exclusion, I am choosing deliberately to love myself so much that I’m willing to pay attention within my own self and notice when I’m engaging from ANY level of fear around who they are being or what they are doing.

Fear NEVER produces real solutions. In fact, you could even say that Fear actually specializes in creating, deepening, and escalating more and more problems.

Love actually IS the solution to any problem.

The practice I’m describing here is one of the most empowering practices that I’ve ever used in my life. I highly recommend it.


Have an awesome day if you choose to!

Rev. Sandra Daly

“Speak your Soul into this space.” Em Claire 



Who's ready for a book study? We'll be doing The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, Monday evenings from 6:30-7:30 Pacific time. This will be a 12-week study beginning Monday April 4th. It will be an online gathering and all meetings will be recorded and made available to members. There is no cost to participants, although love offering donations will be gratefully accepted.

Pictured below is the version that I encourage everyone to use so we can all be on the same page. The isbn is shown, as well, for ordering purposes. Although if you already have a different version and you don't want to purchase this one, no worries - we can work around it as necessary.

This book quite literally saved my sanity in 2011. Actually, it wasn't just the book, it was a six-month STUDY of the book. If not for that study, it's fair to say that I was depressed and discouraged enough to consider giving up on myself and my life completely. Yes, that means what it sounds like it means.

Needless to say, I highly, highly recommend the study and the deliberate and practical application of this material in your life.

Join us if you'd like. All are welcome.

I've created a Facebook group specifically for this study. If you're on Facebook, here's the link to join the group.

Power of Now Facebook group.

If you're not a Facebook user, simply reply to this email. I'll be sending emails to share the assignments in addition to doing that on FB.

To clarify - you do not have to be able to join us for the Monday calls in order to participate in the group, so don't let that stop you!

I look forward to having you join us! :-)

Love to you all!


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