Tuesday, December 25, 2018

I Choose... Surrender


     I have decided on my theme for 2019. It is going to be a year of absolute Surrender. Not the “I give up” kind of surrender, but the “I trust Divine Will” kind of surrender.
     I usually use the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day to decide what I want the following year to be about, but this time around, on Christmas morning, the decision has been made. 
    Why? Because of a whole slew of personal struggle that I’ve been living lately. From physical health issues to out-of-control self-hatred to acute anxiety to NONE of mine and Rick’s Christmas gifts working this morning. It feels like nothing is going the way I want it to right now, and I am really struggling with that. (I know – rationally and intellectually – that’s not true, but it IS how it feels.)
    It’s helpful that I’m in the middle of revising Pop Your Paradigm, because in order to do that I’ve had to immerse myself in that material. It happens to be a great reminder of how I handled a really tough situation almost twenty years ago. I surrendered back then, too, and my entire life changed for the better because of that.
    What did I surrender to back then? My Friendly Universe.
    Albert Einstein said that the most important thing we could ever ask ourselves is this: Is the universe friendly? Or is it hostile?
    Twenty years ago, the universe that I was experiencing was decidedly hostile. The idea that I could just choose to see it differently was a revelation to me. I decided to give it a shot. I began looking for the “friendly” in my universe even in the most painful-feeling situations.
    And every single time I looked for it, I found it. Every time. Even when I was crouched in a corner, protecting my face from my boyfriend’s fists. Yes, even in situations like that, when my life was in danger of being ended at his hands.
    If I could surrender in that circumstance (not my will, but Thine), and come out the other side the better for it, then I can certainly do it in this circumstance.

This week I Choose Surrender. I surrender this moment. I surrender the upcoming year. Not my will, but Thine. I let go of trying to control my outcomes. I surrender to the need for self-love and self-care. I let go of wishing other people and/or my circumstances would change so that I could feel better in or about them. I surrender to things as-they-are and I trust that I will find my Friendly Universe wherever I choose to look for it. 

    I commit to making Surrender to Divine Will and deliberately choosing my Friendly Universe (they are basically two different ways of looking at the same thing) the foundation on which my personal experience of 2019 is built.

What about you? What’s your Theme for 2019 going to be? Any idea? Whatever it is, may you thoroughly enjoy your entire year.

Love
Sandi

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