What's your Theme for 2015? And does your current story support it, or contradict it?

The story that you tell about yourself BECOMES the life that you live. Not sure what story you tell? (most people do it unconsciously) Take a look at your life with the intention of paying attention to the story that you tell others - and yourself - about the way your life is. You WILL start catching yourself in the act of telling a story that perpetuates "the way your life is." And then it's up to you to nip it, right there in that moment, and shift it. Negative will gradually become more positive. Positive will become even better! THIS is how to properly use your own story as a tool that actually serves you, rather than keeping you stuck in living a "same shit different day" kind of life.

And let's just be clear here. The story that somebody ELSE tells about you - positive OR negative - is only true for you if you live in agreement with it! If it's positive, you CAN prove them right! If it is NOT positive, you do not have to prove them right! Nor do you have to prove them wrong!

There is an AMAZING amount of relief in just letting people tell whatever story they want to tell, and if we are included in their story in a negative way, we can recognize that THEIR story is not about US. It's about them and how they are choosing to perceive us. That's all. We never have to be emotionally invested in proving another person's perception of us to be right or wrong. That is nothing more or less than a waste of our time, energy, and attention.

If we feed another's story about us by living in agreement with it, it can only grow. If we push against another's story about us in an attempt to prove them wrong and get them to change their perception of us, they will only push all the harder, and it will grow.

Either way, we are handing our power to change our own life over to somebody else, which equals powerlessness for us.

I don't know about you, but I have no interest, whatsoever, in including powerlessness in my story. One thing I do like to do is sift and sort through the things that others say about me and deliberately pick and choose the things that feel good to receive. And yes, sometimes the good stuff is not easy to receive because it's not in agreement with what I believe about myself, so I always know that THAT is where my work is. It's an ongoing process, for ALL of us. The question is, what story about me do I WANT to be living? And then I must do the work of choosing it deliberately.

What story do YOU want to be living?

Choose that one deliberately. Tell THAT story (as gradually as you need to, degree by degree or fraction of a degree by fraction of a degree) until it becomes your habitual story about yourself. As you consistently tell your story the way you want it to be, with a willingness to LIVE that story, you WILL begin to see evidence of it appear around you in your life.

This time of year is a great time to begin doing this purposefully. What do you want your life to look like as 2015 progresses? And are you willing to change the story that you're telling so that it includes that progress? Or do you want to live a "same shit different year" kind of life... again?

You always get to choose. And you're the only one who can.

And you CAN! And I can, too.

2015 is going to be a FANTASTIC, FUN, EASY, PEACE-FULL year! And THAT is the foundation of MY current story. That's my Theme for 2015.

What's the foundation of the story that YOU are currently telling? What do you want your own personal "theme" for 2015 to be? Stand firm on that foundation. Tell your story with your theme always in mind, and it WILL show up for you.

Allow your story to serve you in this way. Use it like the tool that it is, and write it - paint it - sculpt it - sing it - build it the way you WANT it to be.

And have a Happy New Year, and an incredible, awesome, amazing "NEW" Year!!

Happy Thanksgiving

As I sit here at my computer this morning, working on the last part of revising and expanding Choose Your Universe, I cannot help but be thankful for all of the painful-and-ugly-seeming events that led up to me making that leap out into midair all those years ago and landing here in Phoenix. Without those events, I would never have been inspired to become the woman who landed in this life, with this husband, with these friends, all of whom I love so dearly. I would never have had the amazing experiences that I've had during the last fifteen years, nor would I have accomplished the amazing things that I've accomplished, nor would I have had the opportunity to be a living and breathing example for others that the cycle of abuse CAN be broken, no matter how deeply ingrained it is...

So this morning I give thanks to those people in my earlier life who provided that particular path for me, which was painful at the time, but which led me here, to this place, with these people in my life. I love every single one of you, and I thank you for being my "sacred friends" in that part of my life. Without you I would not be here.

And to those of you that are a part of my life now, especially Rick Daly, but to every other one of you, as well. Thank you for being exactly who you are, and for doing exactly what you're doing at this time and in this place. It is ALL perfect. You are ALL wonderful, and I am blessed to know you now, just as I was blessed to know them then. I am just plain grateful.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I love you.

11-9-14 Sunday OM - Are you listening?

Hi All! I am finally feeling "weller" and was inspired to post a new one, so.... The Sunday OM returns! :-)

Reconnected Show Re-broadcast - RECOVERY & TREATMENT re: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE with Sandra Daly 10/18 by Mentorman | Self Help Podcasts

 RECOVERY & TREATMENT re: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE with Sandra Daly

10/18 by Mentorman | Self Help Podcasts

Just fyi, I come on at the 20 minute mark. This is an interview by my friend and fellow author, Nazim Rashid, from December 2011. There is some really good stuff in this recording! (I had forgotten about the Yellow Brick Road analogy that I used, and I find that it is VERY appropriate for me to apply it in my current experience! Love it!) Enjoy!

Check Out Self Help Podcasts at Blog Talk Radio with Mentorman on BlogTalkRadio

At the end of this recording, Nazim invites me back two weeks later. That recording will be re-broadcast next Saturday October 25, 2014 at 11:00am Pacific time / 2:00pm Eastern at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/reconnected. :-)

SWAN Thoughts...

This post is for my FB friends Kathleen and Lori in response to a conversation going on right now on Facebook. I believe you both will find value in this, as will anyone else who happens to read it. It is a brief excerpt from my SWAN workshop that I used to teach in the domestic violence shelters.

Enjoy. And remember that YOU, whoever you are and whatever you are living, ARE Somebody Worth Accepting Now.

"Do you know the Ugly Duckling story? Here it is in a paragraph: A mama duck was sitting on her eggs, impatiently waiting for the last, and biggest, one to hatch. All the rest of the ducklings had come out of their shells already, and they were all normal, healthy, cute babies. After what seemed a particularly long wait, the last egg finally cracked open and out came the ugliest duckling that any of the farmyard animals had ever seen! Well, he survived in that farmyard for a while, always on the outside of things – always being pecked at and beat up by the other ducks, always wishing that someone – anyone – could find a way to like and accept him. Finally one day he couldn’t take it anymore and he left the farmyard. He wandered and wandered, depressed and lonely, hoping he could find a way to get someone to love him – hoping he could find a way to fit in somewhere. He tried to fit in with various other animals; geese, chickens, a cat…always with the same results – he continued to be picked on and to feel ugly and unworthy of happiness. Then one day he saw a group of beautiful, graceful birds from a distance. He wondered what kind of birds they were – he felt a strong attraction to them, they were so beautiful! But he just knew he would never be accepted by them – why would those gorgeous birds want an ugly thing like him around? So he turned around and went the other way, to live a sad and lonely life on his own. Winter came, and to the ugly duckling’s surprise (and disappointment), he survived it. He was still wandering, alone and miserable, wondering why he had ever been given this life at all if he had to spend it like this. Spring came, and in his wanderings, he found another group of those beautiful, graceful birds swimming in a pond. He made a decision in that moment to go to them and ask them if they could accept him into their group, even though he was so ugly. He told himself, “I am what I am, and I want to be myself.” He decided he wanted to be accepted for what he was – he didn’t want to have to pretend to be something else in order to fit in. So he gathered up his courage, and he moved toward the group of birds floating on the pond. As he came into view and they saw him, imagine his surprise and amazement to find that they were happy to see him! They rushed to him and welcomed him as one of them even before he opened his mouth to say anything! He didn’t understand; he thought maybe they were playing some sort of cruel game with him. He lowered his head, wondering what he should do, not trusting the situation. He didn’t get it until, as he lowered his head, he saw his own reflection in the water. And what did he see? He saw that he was every bit as beautiful and graceful as those wonderful birds who were welcoming him into their group! He had finally found a place where he fit in, and he said, “I never dreamed of such happiness as this, while I was an ugly duckling!”

There are two very important points that I want to make here. Number one is with regard to the last sentence in that story, “I never dreamed of such happiness as this, while I was an ugly duckling!” The Truth is that he was never an ugly duckling! He was never a duck at all! He only thought he was a duck because his circumstances had told him he was a duck. The truth – that he was really a swan – was there all along, he just needed to find it for himself.

And the second point I’d like to make is this: He never would have been accepted into that group of swans if he hadn’t first accepted himself for what he was. He had to do that before he could even begin to take the steps needed to get himself moving in their direction. And if he hadn’t been able to accept himself for what he was in the first place, he would have continued to believe what the circumstances of his life had always told him, and he would have turned around and walked the other way, never knowing the truth – always living his life as less than he really was.

So what’s our Truth here? The Truth is that it’s never too late for us to accept ourselves for who we really are. It’s never too late for us to stop pretending to be something we’re not, just so we can fit in somewhere or get someone to love us. The Truth is that we are all SWANs and we all deserve to live lives of beauty and happiness! That is the Truth – I know it for my Self and I now live my life from that place of Knowing.

The biggest and most profound decision I have ever made was on the Greyhound bus on the way to Arizona. That decision was: “I want to be who I really am, not what everyone else says I am or thinks I should be. I now accept myself as myself and for myself, and I know that it’s okay for me to live my life the way I want to live it. It’s okay for me to be happy!”

That decision opened up a whole new way of living for me. And now when I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t see ugliness, or a duck, any more. The Truth is that I was never a duck. I have always been a swan, I just needed to figure that out for myself. And as soon as I did that, my whole life changed.

I am – and you are, too – Somebody Worth Accepting Now!"

"Rock Bottom" = My Salvation

View this with whatever mind you choose to use...

For myself, it's time for letting go.

Why I Am Still Alive Today...

I wrote the following post this last spring. TODAY, is the 15-year anniversary of the day in 1999 that I'm speaking of below. Fifteen years ago today - on September 19, 1999 - I saved my own life as I made the conscious and deliberate choice to start "doing" my life differently. As I made the conscious and deliberate choice for PEACE (over and over again, beginning on this date all those years ago), that IS what became my own personal spiritual foundation, on which I currently stand.

I happen to love this date and what it means so me, and the following post expresses that meaning beautifully, so I now share it with you again, on the date that it is meant to be shared, with joyful gratitude for the extra fifteen years that I gave to myself when I made the choice to change who I was in that relationship. If not for that choice, I would have died a violent and painful death at the hands of a man who said that he loved me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sitting here at my computer, just contemplating... asking myself what is THE most important thing to me, and recognizing that there's a reason that an experience I had fifteen years ago has cropped up in my memories and in conversation more than once over the last several days.

Fifteen years ago, in 1999, I was still in my last abusive relationship. I was VERY unhappy, and I can remember thinking over and over that all I wanted was peace. I just wanted peace. I wanted just one moment of not having to be on guard... just a moment of not being afraid of the fist that could come out of nowhere at any time and punch me in the side of the head.

I had gone beyond wishing for love. At that time I was just barely coming to understand that he was in so much emotional pain - that he had always been in emotional agony - that he was not capable of being truly loving. And me? I did not know how to BE loved.

So I decided to look for something deeper than that. Something that would serve as a foundation for a happier and more loving life, which I wanted to believe could be possible for me.

What I was looking for was peace. You know, real peace. "The Peace that passeth all understanding." (Although, at the time I had no idea that THAT was the peace I was looking for. All I knew at the time was that I was tired of living in constant, acute fear.)

In September of that year I was introduced to an idea that was very new to me. The idea of personal responsibility. The idea that there was nothing "outside of me" that was - or ever could be - responsible for my own personal peace. I was introduced to the idea that my own peace begins with me, and a quote from A Course In Miracles that says, "I can choose peace instead of this."

That was the beginning of an amazing journey for me. A journey that has brought me to this place, right here. My whole life changed, simply because I decided to apply that one idea as I lived each moment. I began living FROM the idea that I really CAN choose to feel peace, no matter what is going on "outside" of me.

Looking back from here I can see that every time I chose to feel peaceful no matter what was going on with him, OR inside my own thoughts, I was aligning my own personal energy with that of Divine Peace. And as I did that consistently, my whole life changed around me... because I, myself, changed within my own life.

Wow.

As I was sitting here and asking what was the most important thing to me, and "Peace" was the answer that kept showing up, I was being a bit hard on myself about it. Because, well, shouldn't "Love" be the answer to that question? Hmmmm.... Nope. The answer was clearly, "Peace."

PEACE is "my thing." PEACE is the most important thing to me. PEACE is the foundation on which I choose to stand, because from that place of personal alignment with the Divine, I can deliberately see the Divine in others, no matter what they are doing... no matter who they are being in the moment. And there is NOTHING more loving than that.

History...

So fifteen years ago today I had NOT had my big "Ah-ha" yet. I was still a victim and I still had no idea about how profoundly powerful REAL "personal responsibility" really is. I was miserably unhappy and I was wondering why I had ever been born.

There was no way I could know that in just three days my whole way of "doing" my life was going to change. There was no way I could know on THIS day that in just three days I was going to discover just how powerful I really was in that circumstance.

On this date fifteen years ago... All I knew was that I was willing - consciously, deliberately willing, for the first time ever in my life - to believe that a different kind of life was possible for me.

It brings me such joy to look to this piece of my history and watch those last few days unfold in my mind's eye. From here I can see what was just ahead of me there, and I am very, very grateful that I persevered with that simple willingness to believe in possibility. 

That was my very first "Open Moment" experience and I can still remember how it felt... To be in a life that truly, truly sucked and just... be... willing.

And this is why the Open Moment is Tool #1 in Successfully MidAir. I quite literally owe my life - and my current healthy happiness - to it.

9-14-14 Sunday OM - Perception...

About Personal Empowerment

The quote in the attached meme is not actually IN Successfully MidAir (except for my hand written note to myself on the title page of my personal copy), but it IS the purpose for which Successfully MidAir was written... to give the reader tools that they can apply right in the midst of their situation to deliberately create their own experience of their situation.

How do you perceive your world? You do get to choose, you know. And when you deliberately control your perception of the world, you will find that you ARE in control of your experience of the world.

Photo by Linda M Wilson

The instant that you figure this out for yourself, you will then understand that - whether consciously or unconsciously, whether deliberately or by default - you are ALWAYS the only one who can control your personal experience of the world.

I've decided to make this my "I Choose" for this week... I choose my PERCEPTION of my world, and in the purposeful choosing of my view, I know that I am also purposefully creating my own  individual and unique EXPERIENCE of my world.

Dr. Wayne Dyer says that "when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." I know from personal experience - having deliberately applied that statement in 1999 for the purpose of changing my experience of an abusive relationship - that he is absolutely correct!!

THAT is what this week's "I Choose" is about.

Join me if you'd like. You have NOTHING to lose, and the life of your own choosing to gain.

9-7-14 Sunday OM - "Divine Assignment"

8-31-14 The Sunday OM - "Sacred Friends"

Clearing the Way for Love Through Letting Go of Grief

I spent yesterday - August 27, 2014 - knowing that the date was significant for me, and unable to figure out what that significance was. It nagged at me all day long.

This morning it came to me that yesterday was the 20 year anniversary of my mother's death, and I started to get angry with myself. This is the first year since her passing that I haven't recognized it as that particular anniversary. My inner critic started in with, "How could you miss THAT?! You're a terrible daughter!"

But guess what... I am NOT a terrible daughter. I am a wonderful daughter who knows that my mom would not want me - twenty years later - to still be spending August 27th in a funk of grief, loss, and regret, which is how I did it for a very long time. More recently I have come to an emotional place of just acknowledging the date and the passage of time and how much I still miss her. In other words, the pain has lessened exactly as much as I have allowed it to...

And then came this year. The 20 year mark, which I "missed." This morning I am greatly encouraged as I see my missing of this anniversary as real progress in my emotional healing around the loss of my mom, who was also my best friend.

She died twenty years ago, yesterday, at the age of 51. I was 29, and I was devastated - broken,  shattered - by her passing away... by her leaving me like that, so suddenly and unexpectedly.

Now, twenty years later, I am SO grateful to be able to say that she may have been physically gone this whole time, but that does not mean that she has not been very, very present in my life every single day of that twenty years. She has always been right here with me. The love that she had (has) for me, and that I have for her, did not die with her body. That love is here, available to me at all times, right inside my own heart. I know this for a fact, because I can feel it whenever I choose to tune into it. That love did not leave with her. It stayed right here with me, in me, and this morning I can clearly see that as I have allowed my grief to lessen over the years, I have been quite literally clearing the way for myself to be able to feel the love.

Today, that love shines more brightly than ever before. I can feel her right here with me, big and very present in my heart. Now, though, it is not blocked by a wall of pain. As I have let go of my grief, the way has been cleared for that love to shine brightly. I can see it now. I can feel it now. I am grateful.

I love you, too, Mom.

8-24-14 Sunday OM - Matthew 6:34

Good-Bye Facebook, Hello Immediate Surroundings

So yesterday morning I found myself on Facebook, looking to see what interesting and wondrous things are happening around the world. And, of course, I found stuff.

But then, right in the midst of getting "sucked in" to Facebook, I found myself asking a question... Why do I feel like I have to go to FB to find interesting and wonderful things to see? I wondered what would happen if I would, instead, get off the computer and look around in my own moments. I wondered what I would see if I would set my smart phone down and look into my own surroundings for things to appreciate, love, and be entertained by.

And - oh boy - have I ever found stuff!

These last two days I have discovered - please pardon the cliche' - a whole new world, right here in my own life. I've been deliberately and consciously looking at the world with new eyes and the "beginner's mind," asking myself, "What would I think of this if I had never seen it before?" And I am experiencing things in a whole new way. Quite literally. From balancing my checkbook, to drafting a new Circle K store at work, to washing the dishes, to noticing the amazing variety of plant life during my morning walk, to e-mailing a friend, to being fully present as I'm petting one of the dogs or watching a movie with my husband. It all looks and feels different as I'm doing every bit of it on purpose, with purpose. And I find that I really do have an amazing, full, rich, and truly wonderful (wonder-full) life.

I must say that it feels amazing to be looking out into the world in my immediate vicinity, and REALLY noticing what is right here with me, rather than having my attention glued to a Facebook news feed.

Now, I'm not saying I'm never going to log in to Facebook again. But I AM saying that I have discovered that it is SO worth it to me to take my social media time down to a minimum and to turn my "real life" time UP a whole buttload of notches!

Try it for yourself if you choose to... I highly recommend it! :-)

8-10-14 Sunday OM - "All-Conditional Love"

8-3-14 "A New Mantra"

A New Mantra...

August 3, 2014

Okay, I'm a little late in posting last Sunday's OM... But... :-) Here is is now!

 

Today's "Sunday OM" - Just a little shift in direction

Today's "sermon" - LOL! All five minutes of it... I began this ministry on July 13, 2014. Just doing these little brief videos on Sundays. The longest one is six minutes, and they are ALL really good. If you'd like to see the rest of them, please click the "church" link above. From now on I'll do a new blog post, so that followers of this blog will receive a notification for each new one.

For today... here you go! Enjoy!

And please share with anyone you think might find it useful - thank you!

Choosing the "Empowered Way"

I just came across the following message, which went out in my "newsletter" last year when I was in a place that really felt - for lack of a better word, and for the sake of accurate authenticity - like shit.

Now here I am eight months later and on the other side of that experience. As I read through the message below I am able to see - with great clarity - the absolute Truth that lives in this particular message. I am now living the proof that the practice described below really does work. If you missed it then, here it is now. Enjoy.


            Okay friends, please fill in the blank: “I can’t because…”

            Thank you.

            Now please look at your “because” and (be truthful) ask yourself if it’s a reason, or an excuse.

            Hint: If you have stopped looking for an alternative to it, it is no longer a “reason.” It has become an excuse.

 

            This morning I had an interesting bit of inner dialogue happen, and I’m feeling called to share it with you all. Maybe you’ll find something in it that you can use. This was a “conversation” between the me that is afraid of change (yes, even positive-feeling change) and the me that feels empowered and really ready for some things to change for the better. Here’s how it went:

 

            FM (Fearful Me): I can’t because… [and the list of “reasons” followed]

            EM (Empowered Me): Bullshit. Why don’t you just cut to the chase, own your own stuff, and say, “I’m choosing not to because…”?

            FM: [Lots of defending, justifying, complaining, and pleading my “I’m a powerless victim” case.

            EM: Knock it off. You are no victim. There is not ONE THING going on in your life that you couldn’t do differently if you chose to. [This is with regard to attitude and perception. Nothing can change on the outside as long as the inner work is ignored or avoided. Outer change is ALWAYS an inside job. It can’t happen any other way.]

            FM: But…!!

            EM: How much do you want the positive change that you claim you want? Why don’t you start by being truthful with your own dang self?! Rather than saying, “I can’t because…,” be honest and say, “I am deliberately choosing not to, because I am afraid of what will happen – of who I will have to become – if this works out well for me.” This can ONLY end your pattern of self-sabotage – which is all the “I can’t because” attitude is, isn’t it? When you take ownership and make it a deliberate choice to either move in the direction of what you say you want or stay where you are right now (without justifying or defending your choice. Just letting it be what it is.), you remove all of the power from your BELIEF that your “I can’t because” is valid… And you place that power right where it belongs – fully, deeply, within your own heart, hands, and ability to create whatever you choose to create in your life.

 

            Hmmmm….

 

            I’m just going to leave it right there and let you decide what you will do with it. I’m just being the messenger here. You get to choose how – or even if – you receive it.

 

            For myself, and anyone who cares to join me in this:

 

            Today I choose to be authentic, and to make my choices from the inside… from the deepest part of me that knows the full truth that lives at the root of each individual choice. I choose to fully and completely own each choice that I make, whether that choice seems to serve me or not, because I know that if I’m standing fully in it I can make a choice to change it at its core. Or I can let it be what it is until the time comes that I DO feel ready to change it. And when that time comes, I know I’ll be able to do it the right way… the Empowered Way.

PEACE is "My Thing"

Sitting here at my computer, just contemplating... asking myself what is THE most important thing to me, and recognizing that there's a reason that an experience I had fifteen years ago has cropped up in my memories and in conversation more than once over the last several days.

Fifteen years ago, in 1999, I was still in my last abusive relationship. I was VERY unhappy, and I can remember thinking over and over that all I wanted was peace. I just wanted peace. I wanted just one moment of not having to be on guard... just a moment of not being afraid of the fist that could come out of nowhere at any time and punch me in the side of the head.

I had gone beyond wishing for love. At that time I was just barely coming to understand that he was in so much emotional pain - that he had always been in emotional agony - that he was not capable of being truly loving. And me? I did not know how to BE loved.

So I decided to look for something deeper than that. Something that would serve as a foundation for a happier and more loving life, which I wanted to believe could be possible for me.

What I was looking for was peace. You know, real peace. "The Peace that passeth all understanding." (Although, at the time I had no idea that THAT was the peace I was looking for. All I knew at the time was that I was tired of living in constant, acute fear.)

In September of that year I was introduced to an idea that was very new to me. The idea of personal responsibility. The idea that there was nothing "outside of me" that was - or ever could be - responsible for my own personal peace. I was introduced to the idea that my own peace begins with me, and a quote from A Course In Miracles that says, "I can choose peace instead of this."

That was the beginning of an amazing journey for me. A journey that has brought me to this place, right here. My whole life changed, simply because I decided to apply that one idea as I lived each moment. I began living FROM the idea that I really CAN choose to feel peace, no matter what is going on "outside" of me.

Looking back from here I can see that every time I chose to feel peaceful no matter what was going on with him, OR inside my own thoughts, I was aligning my own personal energy with that of Divine Peace. And as I did that consistently, my whole life changed around me... because I, myself, changed within my own life.

Wow.

As I was sitting here and asking what was the most important thing to me, and "Peace" was the answer that kept showing up, I was being a bit hard on myself about it. Because, well, shouldn't "Love" be the answer to that question? Hmmmm.... Nope. The answer was clearly, "Peace."

PEACE is "my thing." PEACE is the most important thing to me. PEACE is the foundation on which I choose to stand, because from that place of personal alignment with the Divine, I can deliberately see the Divine in others, no matter what they are doing... no matter who they are being in the moment. And there is NOTHING more loving than that.

What to do about a "button pusher"

Hello, my wonderful friends and family, and a very happy Friday to you all!

The following message and question have been inspired by an experience that I had last week... May you find it as useful and freeing as I have.

So... Last Thursday morning I set an intention to be more loving. Oh boy. All it took was making that a serious intention and (BAM!!), three hours later a "sacred friend" showed me exactly where I, myself, was being the least loving...

Don't get me wrong. It FELT ugly and painful and like this person was being deliberately obnoxious and hateful. And it felt like she was doing it TO me.

However, I believe that because I had set that intention that morning, I was subconsciously (or maybe "super-consciously") willing to see her behavior as a 100% accurate reflection of a sub-conscious program from which a lot of my behavior has been expressed throughout my life, but which I had NEVER recognized as my own. Wow.

It was an ugly-feeling circumstance, but because I am who I am and I've been doing this inner work for so long - and because I've been so IN the Successfully MidAir material lately, I knew exactly what to do. And what was that? In this experience of feeling powerless, which was how her behavior was making me feel, it was the application of Tool #5 - P.O.W.E.R.

Again, don't get me wrong. As it says in the description of Successfully MidAir: "These tools are meant to be used in the moment, not to change your circumstances (or another person's behavior) - because that is not possible - but to change who you ARE in those circumstances, which cannot help but to change things for you!" I knew that my work was not to get my friend to knock it off. No. My work was to be responsible for my own feeling of powerlessness in that situation. Whooooeeeeee! It did take some deliberate work, but I did it because I knew there was a big Gift in this for me.

Thirty minutes in, I had one of the biggest ah-ha's about myself that I've ever had in my life. And I am changed because of it. That particular button has been short-circuited. In my willingness to SEE it for what it really was, I broke it. [Please make a note of it: She was NOT the problem. She was the reflection of the problem, which was something in me.] And now, I feel so empowered to know that that button may still get pushed from time to time, but now I know it's there, and it will NEVER be the source of my behavior for any length of time again.

So here's the question: Do you have a person or a circumstance in your life that "pushes your buttons?" Well, guess what. The way that makes you feel is about YOU. It is NOT them! Those are YOUR buttons, and you can deactivate them any time you choose to. But first you have to recognize them as yours. As long as your attention is on blaming "them" for pushing your buttons, you are powerless to do anything about breaking - or deactivating - your buttons. And until you do that, you will always feel yourself to be "at their mercy," and powerless in your own life.

In reality, though, you are not at THEIR mercy. You are at your own.

So:

This week I choose to remember that my work is to deactivate my own buttons. It is NOT my work to stop others from pushing them! One of the most empowering things I've ever done for myself is to know that I own my own buttons, and that I can break them at will. And this week I will deliberately use Successfully MidAir Tool #5 to do so!

:-) Join me if you dare!

Love
Sandi

PS: See below for the description of the book and for the links to purchase it.

 

My offer of a 12-week group coaching just for the cost of the book, in celebration of the launch of Successfully MidAir, ends next Friday April 18, 2014. If you'd like to join me, don't put off ordering your copy! Please share this offer with your friends and family! YOU can't know who among them (or who they might know) would LOVE some coaching. And with this offer, ANYONE can find a way to afford it if they're serious. Thank you! For shipping IN the United States: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=S82VFXJ2YYLHJ For shipping OUTSIDE the U.S.: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=LF7BCCJF3LXV2

Description:
 

SUCCESSFULLY MIDAIR:
How to navigate your leap of faith and land in the life you want!

Change happens, whether we want it to or not. How we experience that change is completely up to us.

Successfully MidAir provides ten real and specific tools that can be practically applied right in the moment to relieve stress, ease frustration, and deliberately have fun in the midst of whatever is going on in your life! So, rather than your "midair" experience feeling turbulent, or frustrating, or even painful to you, you can choose to take advantage of those things to deliberately and powerfully create an amazing, joyful ride... right into the life you want!

Whether your struggle is in your relationships with other people (or yourself), or in your circumstances, these tools can help you to:

1. Open the way for things to shift dramatically, right where you stand.
2. Know what to do right in the moment to deliberately change whatever it is you are experiencing.
3. Recognize - and neutralize - three "monsters" that we all deal with in midair AND in our everyday life.
4. Understand exactly what the "problem" is, and watch as solutions seem to magically "just appear" for you.
5. Do you want to feel powerful - or empowered - in your life? Tool #5 helps you understand what P.O.W.E.R. really is, and how to live a genuinely empowered experience.
6. Choosing faith over fear is the way to go every time. Tool #6 helps you to stand anchored in faith so that fear can never knock you off balance for any length of time.
7. Literally change things by changing the story that you tell about those things.
8. INSTANTLY relieve stress and bring yourself to a place of clarity and feeling really, really good!
9. Let go of whatever it is you're hanging onto so that you can reach forward, trusting completely that all is as it should be.
10. Ask yourself the most important question ever... Just the asking of the question changes how you feel about - and experience - whatever is going on.

Every one of these tools is meant to be used in the moment, not to change your circumstances - because that is not possible - but to change who you ARE in those circumstances, which cannot help but to change things for you! Even if you just pick one to use consistently, I promise that your life will never be the same! If you want to feel more empowered and more in control of your life than ever before - without making yourself crazy with stress - then Successfully MidAir is a GREAT book for you!