Friday, April 22, 2016

I Choose... Breathing

I Choose… Breathing

So my inner drama queen is literally flipping out this week. Why? Because I’m not allowing that part of me to outwardly express itself. I am, instead, choosing to notice when it tries to express itself, what it is trying to accomplish with that expression, and how it is trying to make itself noticed and sympathized with. (And I must say, that last part is pretty icky—AND tricky—as it tries to disguise itself as something worthy of expressing.) It’s an interesting thing to witness, and to NOT act upon, for sure!

And that is all I am going to say on this subject except to ask you to consider this exercise for yourself. I guarantee that you will learn stuff about who you are, and about what keeps you stuck in those areas of your life in which you feel constriction, or that you keep creating over and over again.

I Choose… Breathing

This week I notice when my tendency is toward drama, and instead of expressing it, I choose to breathe my way through it. I do not push against it. I do not feed it with my thoughts or emotions. I simply breathe, and I watch as first it freaks out, and then it fades out. I find it very encouraging that it can’t last if I don’t fuel it.

This is not just a breathing exercise. It’s an exercise in personal empowerment and releasing ourselves from the agreements that we have made with struggle. It’s an exercise in choosing to sacrifice our drama so that we can experience emotional freedom. I highly recommend it.


Monday, April 11, 2016

I Choose... My Direction

I Choose… My Direction

Lao Tzu said, “If you continue down the road you’re on, you’re going to end up where you’re headed.” 

I first heard that quote on September 19, 1999. That was the day that I discovered the truth: If I wanted my life to change, I was the ONLY one who could make that happen. If I did NOT want to end up where I was headed (I didn’t), then I was the only one who could shift my direction. Nobody else could – or would – do it for me.

This concept may just be one of the most significant ones that I have ever learned, along with the idea that “just a little shift in direction (ten degrees, one degree, a fraction of a degree) and a mile down the road you’re in a whole new place.” [Mary Manin Morrissey]

I have used this idea over and over again throughout the last 16 years, and today I find myself using it again, but from a different angle: Do I want to end up where I’m headed? Why, yes, as a matter of fact, I would love to land there. But… what if I make this one small shift in direction, toward something I would love even more???? To that I say a giant YES!! Because I know from experience that with just the tiniest shift in direction I really do find myself in a whole new place. 

This is one of the most empowering tools I have ever used for the purpose of taking my life where I want it to go. 

I Choose… My Direction 

This week I notice which direction I am headed, and I tweak my trajectory as necessary to get me to where I really want to go. 

What does this idea mean to you? You get to choose your own destination. In fact, you are the only one who can. Where do you want to end up next week or next month or next year? If you continue down the road you’re on, do you want to end up where it’s going to take you? If you do, then continue taking steps along that path. If you do not, then NOW is the time to branch off in a new direction, even if you only do that a fraction of a degree at a time.

Just the tiniest shift in direction—and remaining consistent on your new path—and a mile down the road you really will find yourself in a whole new place. 

Have a fantastic week everybody!



Yes, I'm still asking. Why? Because I'm not willing to give up on myself and being willing to ASK - without fear of judgment and without judging myself - is a very big deal. 

Please. Help ME to help THEM. Thank you.

There are currently about 41,000,000 women (just in the United States, and this number represents only the incidences that are actually reported) who are doing their absolute best to survive being in relationship with someone who abuses them either physically, emotionally, psychologically, sexually, or spiritually. For most of them it is a combination of all of those things. ("Domestic violence" or "domestic abuse" is NEVER "only" physical. And speaking from personal experience I'd like to make it very clear here that the emotional and psychological abuse is FAR worse - it is far more damaging to a victim - than being raped or punched in the face by someone who says that they love you.)

It's time for me to step more fully into my Purpose and create a book/program that can be used by the people who need it the most. This book is not about LEAVING. It is about BECOMING THE WOMAN WHO CAN CHOOSE TO NEVER BE A VICTIM AGAIN, even if it's not (yet)physically safe for her to walk out the door forever.

This new book shares the process that I used for myself (which was VERY specific) during my last ten months with my abuser. STAYING in that relationship and doing this work from within it was the smartest, bravest, most empowering thing I have ever done for myself, and it is time that process is written down and shared with those who are ready to do something different. I know there are others. Out of FORTY-ONE MILLION, there have GOT to be others who are ready for their lives to change.

With this request for funding, I'm asking YOU to help ME to help THEM. On their behalf, I say, "Thank you so much!"

Sunday, April 3, 2016

I Choose... Self-Discipline

I Choose… Self-Discipline

Hey there everybody!

So my husband went grocery shopping yesterday… and he inadvertently gave me a GRAND opportunity to practice this work in a focused and diligent way, for the express purpose of—as I say over and over and over again throughout ALL of my material—not being at the mercy of my circumstances. Because there IS no such thing.

Yesterday, I had an in-my-face opportunity to choose how I wanted to experience a circumstance that could have potentially caused me considerable anxiety and fear if I had allowed it to.

Here’s what happened. Rick left at about 4:30 to go get some groceries. This does not usually take him very long, and it’s rare for him to be gone longer than an hour.

At 6:00 he still wasn’t home and I got my first little niggle of worry when I noticed what time it was, that he still wasn’t home, and that he had forgotten his phone.

So what, exactly, is worry? You’ve all heard me say this before… now say it with me: “Worry” is what happens when we create a problem in our imagination where only a potential problem exists. And oh boy did my mind ever try to “awfulize” the simple fact that he had been gone longer than I expected him to be! My imagination tried to place him in all sorts of awful scenarios, and the “What-if Monster” was VERY present. “What-if THIS awful, terrible thing has happened to him?!” and “If it wasn’t that, then What-if THIS awful, terrible thing has happened to him?!”

Sheesh! I am so grateful that I’ve been doing this work long enough to recognize when I am creating my own suffering in those times that my mind tries to run away with me. Last night as I was making the deliberate choice to experience that circumstance in a positive-feeling way, I found myself thinking of last Sunday’s I Choose, and I decided to “sacrifice” the story that my fear was trying to create. I sacrificed that story in favor of one that felt WAY better. I deliberately neutralized “What-if something awful has happened” with “What-if something awesome has happened?!” [Those of you who have read Successfully MidAir will recognize Tool #3 here.] I began to deliberately picture fun things that could have happened to delay him. As it got later and later and he was gone longer and longer, I had to do this more and more often. And yes, the later it got the more difficult it was. But it was not impossible!

And – of course – it worked. Why? Because it ALWAYS works!

He got home at 7:00, after really only being gone for about an hour! You see, just because he went out the door at 4:30 did not mean that he actually left at 4:30. One of the reasons that we moved back to Mesa was so Rick could help out around this property (it’s one of his favorite things to do), and when he went to leave, he stopped to help his brother and his niece with something before he left. That took quite a bit longer than he thought it would, and he ended up not leaving until just before 6:00. Meanwhile, I was working here in my office where I can’t see the front of the house, so I had no clue that he didn’t leave when I thought he did.

Which means what? It means that my imagination was completely incorrect as it tried to make me believe that something awful had happened, and if I had allowed my mind to go down that path I would have literally tortured myself for that entire hour between 6:00 and 7:00 for no reason at all.

So what the experience turned out to be was just a great reminder that I always, always, always get to choose how I want to experience my circumstances. Always.

I Choose… Self-Discipline

This week I just plain pay attention to what I’m doing with my mind, because I know that that is always what is creating my experience of my circumstances. I do the work of remembering that circumstances are completely neutral that that they do not care one bit what kind of story I animate them with. Positive or negative. Good or bad. How I experience them is always completely my choice.

Successfully MidAir people, what I did last night was a combination of Tools 1, 2, 3, 4, 7, and 10. And THIS is a great example of how those tools are meant to be applied… never to change our circumstances, because that is not possible, but to change our experience of them, which is always possible.

I know I repeated myself a lot in this I Choose. It was done purposely. I encourage you to read it repeatedly, too. It offers a big message.

And, as always, love to you all!