I Choose... My Story

Hi Everyone!

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how whenever I say, “I am…” (or some iteration of that), whatever comes after my “I am…” is what follows me around. Another way of looking at this comes from Maxwell Maltz, who said, “You can never outperform your own self-image.”

Consider the little poem stated in this image:

We can have a beautiful bowl, the most magnificent bowl on the planet, but it’s the quality of whatever is placed IN it that shows how much we value it. We can fill it full of dog poo, or some other gross substance. Or we can fill it with diamonds. The bowl itself doesn’t care one bit, either way. It just IS.

The blank page doesn’t care what we write on it, whether it’s a lovely sentiment or an ugly, hateful one. The page itself (or the blank social media post space or the blank comment field) does not care. It just IS, and what we choose to write on it is completely up to us.

The same is true of our “I am…” statements. “I am” contains my story, and that content is completely up to me. The words “I am” are completely neutral. They don’t care one bit about the quality of the story that I tell myself and the world about who I am. The just ARE. The story that I tell about myself is the substance (that which stands UNDER me, the “foundation,” if you will) that becomes my circumstance (that which stands AROUND me). If I see myself as unworthy of a good life, or lonely, or limited by a lack of financial means (aka “broke”), or stuck where I am and unable to get ahead, or fat, or ugly, or unwanted or not valued, or (as I’ve literally been seeing myself for the last couple of years) as a “useless waste of space,” or anything else that feels painful and bad… what kind of decisions are born out of these stories?

Here’s an eye-opener for us all: I am not trapped in my story. And neither are you. The only reason we keep living it is because we believe that the story we are telling about ourselves (our self-image) is true, so we make no effort to change it. When I was still living my domestic violence story, I literally had NO IDEA that I could change my life by changing the story I was telling about my life… by changing the words and concepts that came after my “I am.”

And then one day a very good friend told me to “GET A BACKBONE.” Those three words shocked me! Especially because they came from someone who loves me and had lived her own domestic violence life for a really long time, so she knew what my life was like and how hard it was to escape it. Those three words were really hard to hear, because no part of the story that I was telling about myself could include me being strong and having a backbone.

I stewed in my hurt feelings for several days, adding more and more angst to it as I fed my hurt feelings, causing my own pain as I did so. And then one day I had a new thought. It was a thought that I had never thought about myself before because it didn’t fit within the “I am a victim” story that I had been telling myself for my entire life. That new thought came in the form of a couple of questions: “What if I’m not as weak as I think I am? What if I am way more powerful than I’ve ever thought possible or given myself credit for?”

Whoa. That was a profound turning point for me. From there, with that idea added into my story, I began making different decisions. I went from telling a solid, ingrained “I’m a total victim and no good man will ever want me” story to “if I knew that I was stronger and more worthy than I’ve ever believed I was, what kind of decision would I be making right now?” As I switched up my story just that tiny bit, I became more and more able to make healthier decisions than I ever thought I could. It was an amazing, spectacular experience.

And now it’s time for me to switch up my story again. I do not HAVE to believe that I’m a useless waste of space. I can if I choose to, but I don’t have to. “I’m a useless waste of space” does not make healthy or empowered decisions. However, shifting my story just a bit, to “If I knew that I have value, how would I be doing this?” causes my decisions to come from there, and they are very different decisions. As I do this for myself, my story changes to match the new decisions. As the substance of my life—my story—changes… As my decisions and my responses to my current circumstances change… my circumstances change to match, and my new story becomes a new circumstance, from which I then get to choose how I want to live it.

This has to happen from the inside out. It’s how I respond within the circumstance that can either perpetuate the current circumstance or change it up. And the story I am telling is what generates my responses. The question is… What’s the story that I’m telling about this? And what’s a story that feels better? What do I want to fill my bowl with? What do I want to write on this blank page? What do I want my “I am” story to contain?

I get to choose all of it. I am not a victim of my story, and I am not trapped in it, either. This week I will be deliberately paying attention to the story I am telling, noticing where it does not generate healthy or empowered decisions, and switching it up to something that does generate the good stuff.

I love playing this game, and I hope you’ll join me in it! 😊

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts, and I’d love to hear about your experiences if you should decide to play this game along with me!

Love
Sandi

I Choose... Knowing

Hey there!

Last week, I spoke of “listening” for Divine Guidance from within. Sometimes, though, we’re too caught up in our inner angst to be able to hear or recognize our inner Guidance. In those cases, It has to find other ways to get Its messages to us.

That has been the case for me many times, and the list of ways that God has reached me from “outside” of me is long and varied. Maybe a book that I haven’t cracked open in a long time Calls me to open it up to a random page and I find exactly what I need in that moment. I’ve had billboards light up for me, billboards that I had passed a hundred times and never even noticed until I needed to see its message. I’ve had Guidance show up in the form of a six-year-old’s wisdom, an overheard conversation between strangers, and sometimes in my own material from twenty years ago.

There are countless ways that our Guidance uses to connect with us. It never gives up on us, and it keeps finding different ways to get our attention no matter how long it takes. Being open to receive it, though, is 100% up to us. God can’t force us to hear that still small voice, but the second we become willing… BOOM! There it is. I know this from my own experiences.

One of my favorite bits of Guidance, that I’ve leaned into many, many times since I received it in 2006, came from Dr. Wayne Dyer. I was worried about not having enough money to pay my bills and he said, “Right now, in this moment, you have every single thing you need. What’s my proof? My proof is that right here, right now in this moment you have every single thing you need!”

It took me a while to understand what he actually meant, but when I did, I really, really did. Talk about a lightbulb moment! That was almost twenty years ago, and I have never stopped being super-grateful to him for saying that to me. It never fails to ease whatever I may be stressing out about in the moment.

This week, I am choosing to know in every moment that I really do have every single thing I need. I can know this as “the truth” whenever I need to. In moments of stress I stop, take a breath, clear my mind as best I can, and look around me. The proof is ALWAYS right here, 100% available for me to see whenever I look for it with the intention of seeing it.

This week, if you find yourself stressed out or struggling with something, I encourage you to practice knowing that “right now, in this moment, you have every single thing you need.” What’s my proof? My proof is that right now, in this moment, you really do have every single thing you need. All you have to do is decide to see that for yourself.

Love
Sandi

 

This Week I Choose... Listening

Hi Everyone!

Gandhi said, “The Voice for Truth is available to every single one of us every single day, and it is as loud as our willingness to listen.” When I first heard that quote, I decided to experiment with it. I practiced the simple willingness to listen for that Voice (The still, small voice that’s mentioned in the Bible. Or what I like to call “The Voice That Loves Me.”), and the more I listened for it, the easier it became for me to hear it and then follow wherever it led me, whether it made logical sense or not.

Talk about a grand adventure! That experiment was probably the biggest reason that I still believe that Divine Orchestration is a real thing, because no matter how far “out there” some of those nudges took me, or how painful or uncomfortable they were, I was always able to see – later. Sometimes much later - the Divine at work in the situation.

And now here I am, 25 years later and playing that game again due to a big fat reminder that Divine Orchestration is very real. A couple of days ago I was at the grocery store, just for a couple of things. I don’t care much for checking my own items, but that day I only had five things - two of one thing and three of another. The self-checkout would have gotten me out of there more quickly than waiting in line for a cashier, but when I headed for the self-checkout area, I got a gentle “nudge” to get in line for one of the cashiers. I did so, and while I was waiting for the conveyor to clear a bit so I could set my items down, I noticed the woman in front of me in line.

She was a beautiful elderly woman who was probably in her late eighties or early nineties. As she was getting ready to leave, I told her that I admired how well put together she was and that I thought she was lovely. Her response was, “Oh, thank you so much! I needed to hear that. Today has not been a good one for me, and you just made it a lot better.”

There is NO WAY that was not a bit of Divine Orchestration. The Voice That Loves Me only ever gives me nudges - like “go to a cashier,” “don’t go behind the bushes and cry,” or “take a different route home from work.” EVERY time I’ve received clear guidance like that, and followed it with faith, the results have been amazing. The fun part about it is that Guidance never goes into detail. It doesn’t say, “Go to a cashier because when you do you’re going to wind up behind a lovely woman who needs to hear something positive from you right now.” No. It just said, “Go to a cashier,” and left it at that. The rest was up to me saying the words to her, and her being able to receive them.

I know to the core of who I am that that was a Divinely Orchestrated interaction – one that never would have happened if I had not listened to and followed that gentle nudge that told me I should take the less ideal way to get my shopping done. I was - and still am - SO grateful that I listened to that bit of Divine guidance. I didn’t lose anything except a few minutes of my time, and I gained another bit of evidence to add to my list of (recognized) fun and fantastic results in my life that were unquestionably due to my listening for, and following, a nudge like that.

This week, I am choosing to listen for – and to – the Voice for Truth that Gandhi spoke of. I am choosing to get back into the habit of diligently listening, because I remember how much of an adventure that can be, and I know that it’s always worth it.

Care to join me?

Love
Sandi

This week I Choose... to Just Start Already!

 Click here to receive this weekly "I Choose..." via email.

Hi All!

I’ve been considering (for weeks!) what I want the subject of my first email in a long time to be, and I haven’t been inspired to um… choose anything specific. (I love puns!) It’s been frustrating – to feel inspired to send out my first email in a really long time, only to be afflicted with writer’s block the second I turn my attention to it.

This morning, though, it occurred to me that I could just begin at the beginning, and move forward from there. It’s time for me to just start! It doesn’t matter in the slightest that I haven’t started before now. In fact, what if now is the perfect time to start? (Hello… Now IS the perfect time to start!)

So, this week I’m choosing to just get started already! I’m letting myself off the hook that tells me I should feel bad about not starting before now. I mean, really, how many people have actually missed these messages? My ego would like to think that they are actually important to others. Real life, though, says the opposite. The truth is that these emails are important to ME, for me to use the crafting of them as an opportunity to practice self-discipline and keeping my word to myself. Getting started again feels like the beginning of a brand new leap of faith. Juicy and alive! I love that feeling of juicy aliveness that is inherent in a leap, not sure what’s going to happen next, but knowing that I can handle it successfully. Just writing out those last few sentences has my mouth watering in anticipation of this new Grand Adventure!

But why fire up the “I Choose…” again? Because I vividly remember how it felt to send them out consistently AND to deliberately apply each weekly message in my own life. I also know that every email I send out, and/or post to my blog, will land in the lives of those who are meant to see it.

Have you been avoiding starting anything? Using excuses (like writer’s block) to protect yourself from what might happen if you DO start? What pattern of behavior is your avoidance go-to? Do you lose yourself in some tv show or movie? Do you talk yourself into getting a headache or not feeling well? Do you distract yourself with …cleaning the garage? …washing your car? …giving your dog a bath? …cleaning out the refrigerator? …defrosting the freezer? …checking the news? …doom-scrolling in some social media app? …cleaning the toilet? …cleaning someone else’s toilet? LOL

I love those kinds of questions. They make me pay attention to what I’m actually doing when I allow myself to get distracted and not even start – or get back to – something that my heart wants to either get done and get it off my plate (taxes anyone? filing the piles of paper on your desk?), or create and continue creating until it’s done (any written or video project, a painting or sketch that has been trying to get your attention lately). In the past I’ve been really good at starting things and never finishing them. In the past. “Yesterday” counts as “the past.” And so does thirty seconds ago.

I want that feeling of aliveness that comes with getting started on a new endeavor, and the principles I’ll be sharing each week will be what carries me into successfully landing on the other side of this leap. But it’s that “midair” feeling that I’m looking forward to, not the landing.

Care to join me? You are definitely invited, and please feel free to respond to this email/blog post if you have any questions, or if you have a win – big or small – that you’d like to share. I’d love to hear about all of it!

It’s great to be back! I’ll see you next Sunday! In the meantime, have a great week if you choose to.

Love,
Sandi